Sunday, June 28, 2015

i'm a Christian.

I sat on the airplane, quietly staring at the back of the seat in front of me. I sat in the middle of two older women, both of whom were sleeping. As I sat there, doing nothing, really, I felt that little nudge from the Spirit.

Oh no.

I was supposed to ask one of the women if they knew Jesus, and if they didn't, share the Gospel. And in my Flesh, I really didn't want to.  Because I'm not an educated girl. I don't know all the ins and outs of apologetics. I didn't come prepared with a briefcase full of scientific evidence proving God exists. And on top of that, I hadn't done this a whole lot before. So obviously this was out the question. But the women were sleeping. I didn't have to worry about it.

Well, my God has a funny way of getting me into situations where He desires me to showcase His life (obviously that's every moment of every day, but specifically in regards to boldness in sharing the Gospel, praying for people, etc.). I say, "Lord, conform me to look like You", and suddenly my little sisters have just gone off and done something annoying. Or I find myself sweetly thanking the lady at King Soopers' cash register, and walking away without a word about my faith or Jesus. This should be a normal occurrence in my life. It should flow naturally out of who I am as a Christian: a mini Christ. 

If a person is sleeping, it's most likely that they will wake up. Which happened on the airplane. I watched, out of the corner of my eye, the woman in the window seat, stretch and then rub/massage her knee as if in pain. Still I said nothing.  Five minutes passed (it felt like an eternity, though) and finally I leaned over.

"Excuse me, ma'am, but is your knee in pain?" She nodded, and I shakily continued, "I'm a Christian, and I believe that my God delights to heal people. Can I pray for you to be healed?" Surprised, she nodded, and after asking for her name, I bent my head and began to pray a prayer of faith for this woman's healing so that she might see Jesus. I finished, she thanked me, and then began the awkward silence of sitting there, staring at the back of the seat while she played games on her phone. The other woman was still asleep.

Fifteen or so minutes later she leans over and softly says, "There's no more pain in my knee. Thank you." I was shocked. I mean, I knew God could heal, but if He was going to heal her it was going to be after the flight, away from me, and I'd probably never hear about it. I was not expecting this! Not that I didn't believe Jesus could do it... but, well, I guess that's what it was. A lack of faith. And God loves to prove His children wrong. So I'm kind of freaking out on the inside, and then I decide, if I'm in this situation, might as well do it right.

"Ma'am, has anyone ever told you about Jesus?" She smiled.

"Yes. I'm a Christian, actually. You were very brave and courageous to step out and pray for me. I've never seen someone so young do that."  I probably blushed out of embarrassment, because I naturally don't like those type of compliments, or at least when it comes to my faith. If only they knew that it is because of Christ's work in my life that I'm able to have such boldness (you may be laughing at my form of 'boldness', but hey, this was a big deal!)! But He was glorified.

Jesus was glorified. Because He spoke, and I obeyed. Even though (if I had been standing) my knees were knocking and I was shaking, and I could hardly breathe, He was glorified. He will get glory from the smallest of matters, if only we obey. Step 1: listen for His moment-by-moment command. Step 2: just do it. I'm not trying to sound cliche, but really, it's simple. Hear, and do. My mom used to tell me to make my bed, and I had a choice, do it or not. It's the same thing.

The past few days here in Dallas have been a different kind of adventuring than I'm used to. I've had conversations with other believers that force me to think about what I really believe, and how to effectively communicate that. I've come face to face with a choice recently made by the Supreme Court that greatly affects our country in regards to gay marriage. In the little things, I've had moments where I've had to choose -- do I do this even though it's small and seemingly insignificant? Even just this afternoon, I was given a choice. Throughout the day, multiple. Think on what is noble, lovely, right, honorable...? I know what is right for me to do, and what isn't, and I pray to God that I continue to walk in the path of the righteous [psalm 1] so that He is the only One seen. At all times. And that is achieved by listening. And then doing.

I pray that as people look at my life all they see is Jesus. That I am not a distraction to anyone, or hindering anyone's walk because of me. I want such a genuine love for people... a God-love for people. It doesn't matter to me what they think of me, as long as Jesus is clearly seen. And I don't want to misrepresent Him, which is why I seek to know Him more, through intimate, passionate prayer, and through study of His word. Oh, friend, wether I know you or not, He is amazingly good. I long for you to know Him, and for me to know Him better. I will take those steps of faith forward, listening for the voice of the Spirit and then heeding it. Walking in obedience. I want to be so in tune with the Spirit, and have my life look so much like His that there is no denying that I am a child of God, a co-laborer with Christ, and a fellow heir to the inheritance of Heaven. A Christian.

Friday, June 12, 2015

in Christ // i am all He says i am

So often I struggle with doing life on my own. I look away from the perfect beauty of Jesus and fall short. Again. Flat on my face I fall, and I shake my head in disappointment that I didn't come through for God. Why? Why must I be the one to do this work when Christ has accomplished it all for me on the Cross? The Cross where He purchased my soul, bought the above list of things for me to become. And I try to do this in and of myself? Why do I continue in this mindset? He has made me acceptable because I am covered in His precious blood. I am atoned for. In Christ, I am everything He says I am.

I'm not boasting. This is just what Scripture says. I was predestined to be these things [ephesians 1: 5,11]. . .

We are His saints. [colossians 1:26]
He tells us to be holy as He is holy. [1 peter 1:16]
We are loved. [hosea 11:1]
Chosen of God. [duet 7:6]
We are new creations. [2 cor 5:17]
We are the righteousness of Christ. [phil 1:11]
We have power of over sin. [romans 6:14]
We are no longer outcasts. [jeremiah 30:17]
We house the Spirit of God. [1 cor 3:16]
We are heirs. [romans 8:17; titus 3:7]
I am all He says I am.

The list goes on. I get overwhelmed. How do I deserve to be these things? I was never this... until Jesus. Until He rescued me. Adopted me. Made me His own. He instructs me in the ways of righteousness and gives me authority over Satan. Over sin. Dominion over my flesh, emotions. Things that used to control and rule me now have no power here, unless I cave and give them that position. But, today is not that day. I will stand with Christ in me, before me, beside me, above me, behind me. All around me. He is with me, because He is. And in Him, I am. Not the name of God, I AM. But in Him, I am. I am all He has predestined me to be.

So I will rest in that today: He who IS has made a way for me to be all that He has called me to be. By the grace and power of the Holy Spirit, I will walk in that. Confidently.